Have you ever heard someone say she (or he) was used as a conduit by some higher creative force in the act of writing, or painting, or doing some other artistic thing?
I’ve had that experience only once or twice in my life—years ago. And I’ve had it this week. Many people responded sincerely, honestly, and with depth to my posts about depression. By yesterday, I realized this was having a deeper effect on me than I’d thought. The writing came from a deep place in me—a place that doesn’t see the light that much. If it was helpful to anyone, I’d put myself at the top of the list.
I have been deeply touched by what people have written and shared. One reader told me how much meditating an hour a day helps her. This morning, I meditated for about twenty minutes and vowed to try her method. I thought a friend who shared concern about her mother’s depression; and another who lost a beloved family member to this disease. I was overwhelmed this morning with the human connections I’ve made in the last four days.
In the end I’m grateful to have had a venue for sharing my experience and hope, and to all who took part in the conversation. I do have more to say, but it’s going to be another day.
This weeks also contained some new horizons for my job. The synchronicity of life has arranged it so that the rewards of blogging help me be more confident and creative in that part of my life. Knowing I have a supportive network of fascinating, caring and deeply human friends out there fills me up. (Then again, there’s a downside—like the day I started to sign an email to my boss with “xoxoxo Sallymandy”—but that doesn’t happen very often.)
There’s been so much creative energy around my blog and my job that I’m worn out today—in a good and satisfying way.
So, I’m doing other things. This morning, I had a relaxing hour outside at a European-style cafe with friends. In addition to a huge glass of fresh orange juice, I enjoyed the little trained lilac trees near us, and a shrub of the largest and most stunning red and yellow columbines I’ve ever seen. I wandered home on my bike through my green and flowering neighborhood—it was sunny and a bit breezy, not hot, not cool. I’m ignoring the laundry and the end-of-week piles of stuff around the house. After posting this, I’m going to take a nap. I’m looking forward to catching up on my blog visiting and reading.
Happy Weekend. xoxoxo Sallymandy (because you are not my boss)